This Can’t Be True

Once again, Mr Mitchell makes my day. He points out the following two hilarious-if-terribly-sad stories:

First, the Times reports:

An award-winning winemaker whose wares are sold at the royal palaces is facing a £30,000 bill after European bureaucrats ruled that he was using the wrong-shaped bottles.

Jerry Schooler, who sells 400,000 bottles of fruit wines and mead a year, has been threatened with prosecution over his determination to use traditional measurements.

The proprietor of the Lurgashall Winery in West Sussex, has been told to halt the sale of beverages such as mead, silver birch wine and bramble liqueur in 75cl and 37.5cl bottles. If he continues to sell them, he could be taken to court under a new EU directive that permits the sale of such products in 70cl, 50cl or 35cl measures only.

And then, the Sun has the following story:

A Brussels ruling has banned local services longer than 30 miles to ensure drivers don’t spend too long at the wheel.

As a result, drivers have to pull in as they hit that limit and order everyone OFF their bus.

They then change the route number on the front and invite passengers to jump back ON before resuming the trip.


Passengers must buy three tickets and break their journey twice.

Managing director Mark Howarth said: “It’s a farce. We have to kick customers off as soon as the driver hits the 30-mile limit.

“Often it’s in the middle of nowhere. Passengers think we’re crazy.


Well, the first one sounds stupid – almost all wine bottles round here are sold in 75cl bottles. So something must’ve gone wrong there even though I consider the Times far more trustworthy than the Sun. Second one, I’m also inclined to not exactly take it seriously. It is, after all, the Sun that’s reporting it. That one seems, surprisingly enough, a bit more convincing though.

One can find some proper reasons for it – if one were to think real hard and consider that the EU probably didn’t quite think it through.

Anyway, certainly makes for a good laugh. 😉

More stuff “inspired” by Mitchell here, here and here.



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